A brief timeline of my sexual abuse and silencing

Born 1970 to young parents unplanned.

1980 My grandparents moved to gustardwood a rich neighbourhood home to three doctors and my abuser.

Soon after I met one of the Etonian brothers in the ring when he pushed me up the cherry tree in the front garden. He knew around 7 of my school friends one was his neighbour Jane who was also a helper at a children’s party for the daughter of a GP and my Etonian abuser. I had just started my private school, I was given wine to drink and raped by the religious Etonian brother behind this building, men exposed themselves at the top of the stairs we were told to open the door to the room they were in.

Soon after another party was held at my friend Paula’s house, the 2 Etonians were there and one of the wives made a game of staring into mirrors. Two girls a bit younger came down we didn’t know them, they were wearing pants crawling on the floor and not talking. We were told we would be taken to a house to meet important people luckily we didn’t go it was called the big house in claggy road. The religious brother took us for a walk instead I have had flashbacks of this. I later discovered in around 2004 through Carol who met my friend Jim that a known paedophile lived there and was always let off due to powerful contacts.

From 1981 To 1986 I had a relationship predominantly with the older non religious brother who I will call D..  I will list a few key events:

1981 A very snowy year, I had been bumped into by D on the hill in my village that separated where he and I lived. He had skis I was on a sledge he brushed snow from under my jumper and I had to walk back up the hill to my family.

I was being groomed he often cycled to my village we met once on the top green. I liked a boy calls Alex who was 13 and I said you are 31 as it was the numbers reversed. I was 11/12 it was summer he was 19 yrs older.

I went to Mrs Gregs riding school aged 12 in 1982 till 1984. I had just turned 12 and was given the responsibility of sole care of one pony. At the time soon after my birthday I met Kim who would often join me on my meetings with D and occasionally his brother. We went to the stables weekly which was a 20 minute walk from Ds house. On Sunday’s I would often have dinner at my grandparents which was around the corner from Ds house and a GPs house.

My friend Micheal who lived a few houses away walked Ds dogs. I met many of the neighbours and had friends there. Went to several parties where the GPs and D socialised too.

Kim and I met D once when he fell of his bicycle at the field were the horses were kept. I would often see one of the Drs when riding when with D he had horses. We went to lots of the same horse shows.

We called Ds brother super man because we would smoke consulate together in Sauncy Wood there was a superman poster that looked like him with nicoteen saying grow up fast on it. We called D the old gentleman a euphemism for the devil!

We met on the Ayot tracks where there was also a Christian group walk with his brother. Also the Sandrige tracks, Symonshyde wood and around Harpenden often tying up horses with baling twine, mine was called snoopy his Charlie.

His neighbour Beth was watched by him sunbathing naked we talk in tape about what he did with her it started just before we split she was younger than me. Sarah D another neighbourhood girl was involved with him too, he always hung around his daughters friends.

He was treated at a Priory Hospital for behavioural issues and started taking meds. He once gave me a pill when out riding that 45 minutes later had me gasping for breath and unable to speak.

1986 He wanted to give up his job and his wife was money mad. I was getting to be a threat as although my abusive family had allowed us to be together, they were warned off it continuing and we split for a while. I had been unhappy about it and talked of telling the police to my grandparents.

Nov 86  I baby sat for him and he came back early, we made love in bed for the 1st time. His wife arrived early in the morning he said go down stairs I wasn’t dressed properly she appeared and attacked me I was dragged into the car also by the GP who lived over the road Ds brother helped. I had plant fasteners around my wrists and Ds hanker chief blindfolded me I thought I may be killed.

We arrived and I was dragged in and up to a small room in the centre of the building. Treated in a room near to this small room that was a surgery, I was talked through in a semi conscious state about not seeing him anymore I feared answering incorrectly as pain was administered in some form if that happened. I had a small bandage behind left ear that I was told by a Malaysian nurse to not touch.

It was around October / November 86 around a week later I was returned to grandparents who concealed what had happen saying I was ill. My family all moved house after this.

1989  I had a breakdown despite concentration being poor for three years I had started getting flashbacks. My family were violent and mentally abusive and wanted me to leave home. I was sectioned as I read the bible a lot believing in the end times, I cried a lot during this breakdown my only supportive relative my grandmother had died I still have many letters from her concerned about my abuse and that my mother wanted me paired of with a man at 15 so I’d leave home.

The local complicit GP surgery were involved in sectioning me as I was still with them. I was diagnosed as  paranoid schizophrenic as none of the past events were disclosed. I later had section overturned when I told of my families abuse.

1993 In the spring I had another minor breakdown relationship issues, and flashbacks, delivered straight back to hospital due to my diagnosis.

D had just taken an overdose and his GP friend (who has been in the papers for fraud recently) told him to go to Hillend where I was. He took over my life I was on a lot of meds. The GP friend told D’s wife my diagnosis.

I made attempts to tell the authorities about D but they wouldn’t listen. He and I married in 1995 and bought a derelict farm, I was totally controlled but recorded an admission about him abusing my friend and trying to get me sectioned, he talks about my memory loss and running to phone the police for help at the private hospital and abusing several others.

I was sectioned when expecting to talk to the police. A psychiatrist who gave the go ahead for fertility treatment disorted my testimony to make me seem crazy and he now said I had been so for 18 months my documents show 3 months before he said we were a well couple and had fertility treatment that failed. The recording I made at this time shows my sanity and D’s plotting. I had wanted a child this happened soon after treatment failed and D knew I would leave.

1998 Returned to my hometown with nowhere to live (parents told me to go back to D) the authorities mishandled it all again, legal aid denied due to a local head of housing  councillor corrupting proceedings. I made a complaint about one involved medical person, the paper work regarding the states behaviour is quite damning.

I was involved with another devious abuser at the day centre who had me arrested when trying to help warn a vulnerable person about him. My reputation had been set by my grandparents and parents who were respectable and also freemasons. I used to sit opposite head of police at Xmas doos. I have no contact with family now.

Interviews that had taken place had not been recorded only the abusers stories were ever listened to. The method of arrest was lied about, I was asked in to talk to them, not arrested at another station as they said. My diagnosis always used to deter proper treatment when convenient, although I was very cogent responsible and capable.

I have a scar behind my ear can send a photo my partner helped me find it after 30 yrs! There is devil worship graffiti still behind the house where abuse happened it has been there since my friends and I stood there talking about it just before I left the village in 83 aged 12.

Now I am settled have family and caring partner and need justice . HERE IS the secretly recorded admission of much of this by the abuser who controlled me.

wirrel wordEVIDENCE (1)


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