An Oath To Hell describes a journey through the UK power structures an attempt at justice and support thwarted

I know I’m not alone in my situation people write books everyday, experience abuse too sadly, but what I managed to document six years ago, proved quite profound and correct and I’m not saying that to be boastful as it is an all too common devasating situation for many in our country.

The oath itself in my perception refers to the authorities use of power. It denotes a systematic turning away and distortion of survivor experience, as the job of the system appears to be managing both abuser and abused often as I experienced with no differentiation between the two, if they were held on the fly paper of mental health for example.

The oath is the professional oath of alliegence toward the state,that differentiates between the ones who are in and those who aren’t. My Etonian abuser would say it’s not what you know, it’s who you know,and I learnt his ways well as my abuse was often under the illusion of a relationship at times, a very unbalanced one.

I soon learnt that those who had taken some sort of professional oath to protect were only interested in listening to my parents and later abusers version defaming me. The oath to protect was always trumped by a person with an expensive house job or air of respectability, and I can see how Jimmy Saville got away with it among this bunch of clowns we have in the UK running the show.

I did try and explain when police were called on me and friends when we were late home once at 16 (no mobile phones then) that my parents were abusing me. The distortion was just beginning, they wanted me seen as difficult, and themselves whiter than white. This stuck right through till I was 19 when my flashbacks were described to psychiatrists as some sort of unexplainable thing from nowhere! My GP was a friend of one of the abuser and responsible for signing the papers so began my professional career in psychiatry.

The hippocratic oath was broken much more seriously before but to understand how you’ll have to read my book. Misuse of diagnosis (necessary in order to medicate) was common place, I can name about 5 other survivors of abuse I’ve seen suppressed and many more abused by the unhearing system that plays right into the hands of abusers and those complicit. They simply stop listening and begin processing. The police even distort survivor testimony lose evidence etc, it’s no wonder we are in such a mess. They are completely status orientated and protect only certain groups, which brings me back to the Oath and what it means.

The oath can be OK if you learn to be as slippery as the abuser and the state and just let it go when injustice appears, move on as I was always told to. Appreciate what you have inside a sometimes guided cage. I tried it and it chokes and would change someone after too long of acceptance, into a tool of permissive abuse.

The choice the oath gives you is hard as a whistleblower you stand to lose all, can a professional oath be broken silently and quietly ? No ! The oath starts of as an honest child’s testimony, ignore at your peril because we grow up to be eventually unbending in our personal accountability, not easy to mould into a disreputable power structure and free only when we’ve broken the oath of silence the oath that you give us in exchange for our truth when you follow proffesional instructions.

They want to throw our oath to hell, make it disappear smooth it profesionally and compromise it, but until we reach the place we were meant to originally in society we cannot surrender. Just like racial struggles or feminist ones we were held down and we only, have this amazing oath that can put it right when we have the power to do so.

We must have an inclusive society where this structural and objectively emotional knowledge is used in the CSA inquiry to make sure these ways of hiding abuse never repeat. Untill they fully acknowledge and let us explain how the structure really works we are doomed to failure.

I discovered in one dictionary Sam meant Oath and Hill meant hell. Sam Hill is a type of swear word, mostly used in USA, who the Sam Hill are you, what the Sam Hill is that!

Lets break the false societal oaths that keep official secrets about abusers under lock and key and many survivors too, it makes prisoners of us all to live in such a society.


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